I have Turner syndrome. I used to be angry. Angry at the doctors. Angry at the growth hormone injections I took. Angry at my parents. And…angry at God. I went through a period in my life where I believe that God was punishing me for something. I was damaged. I was cursed. I wasn’t supposed to be on this earth.
Maybe it was the hormones I was taking, maybe it was depression, maybe it was the years of teasing by classmates, maybe it was the fact that I was different and I knew it, but I was a mess. I quit going to church. I fought with my family and those who loved me the most. I was angry. I was hurting.
There was no great flash of lightning, no loud voice, no angels coming down from heaven to comfort me. Instead, on night in my bed, sobbing, I cried out to God and He heard me. His little child. He touched my heart and soul where I was hurting. I wasn’t healed, but I was well on my way to repair.
I am now proud of who I am. I am no longer ashamed or angry. I still struggle at times, but I know the Lord has a plan for me and a reason why I survived this long. After all, the odds were against me…against all of us. Who else but the Almighty Father could keep us safe and alive this long in our lives? We shouldn’t be here. Only God can defy those odds and incorporate me and my life into His Divine Plan.
At times when I am at my lowest, the words of the serenity prayer are my comfort” “Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to your will,
Lauren
Butler, PA
