Test; a word a teenager knows well. 7 periods, 7 subjects, 5 days a week, for 9 months meant lots of study times to prepare for exams. Just one test could make or break your report card.

Losing my grandmother, watching my mother grieve, and seeing the back of my father’s head as he left for long hours at work…presented an opportunity for a 13 year old girl to search for affection elsewhere. With the rage of new pop music I memorized lyrics such as; it’s your thing, do what you want to do; if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right; imagine there’s no religion; and she’s buying a stairway to heaven. “Goodbye hymns…hello rock ‘n roll!”

The world said, “There are no do not’s. Do whatever feels good to you.” Surely, God didn’t mean for my life to be miserable. So, I fabricated my ‘own’ family—my peers. Besides, I come from a denomination that believes in ‘once saved, always saved’. At 7 I was very sincere in my decision to follow Christ, but as a teenager, with estranged family members, I wondered far away.

As I drifted further away from Jesus the pinhole in my heart grew to be a crater. Dissatisfaction created an appetite for more satisfaction, which led to more dissatisfaction as desperate attempts to find ways to numb my pain only brought destruction. I failed the test of faith as a teen and young adult and began to question whether I was a Christ-Follower; seemed like I was more of a Trend-Follower because ‘I couldn’t get no…satisfaction’.

Hebrews 5:12 says, “In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!”

In other words…I chose to stay an infant. Ignorant of God’s Word.

Are you still on formula? Perhaps you need to learn to crawl back to Jesus so you can run in a race that leads to fulfillment. Or…were you sincere to begin with?